Stuff I Think About After I Masturbate...: Of Douchebags and Tattoos

I spend much time around twenty-somethings because I don’t want to bang women my own age. During my attempts at getting laid in hipster bars where twenty-somethings gather I discovered a truth: the vast majority of them have tattoos. At first I believed it was part of the reptilian conspiracy. I suspected tattoos were the ‘mark of the beast.’ A way for reptilians to spot each other easily in public. I was wrong. With some exceptions a tattoo is the mark of the douchebag.

Douchebags take what was once cool and ruin it. The flaw of the tattooed douchebag is assuming what is popular is cool when in reality the opposite is true. What is popular is never cool. Being cool now is not having a tattoo unless you belong to a small subculture of masculine awesomeness.

Military men, convicts, hardcore musicians and their fans ink themselves proudly to indicate their allegiance to a masculine subculture. There is nothing masculine about a whiny hipster douche sporting a Mandarin character on his frail arm. Unlike most fads this has nothing to do with the Jewish-Reptilian-Homosexual-Canadian conspiracy. Unfortunately the fad is a consequence of our own human foibles. A tattoo is a commitment. It should note your undying loyalty to a sub-cultural ethos. It shouldn’t be a way to shout to the world how much of a lame douchebag you are.

Ironically women can’t be douchebags. Only someone who was born with Aryan value but cheapen themselves can be a douchebag. A woman’s value is dependent on what the Aryan man decides upon. A tattoo on a woman is the equivalent of a sales tag. The more tattoos the less value.

The many faces of douchebags...