1) The ability to crush your enemies quickly, efficiently, and with extreme prejudice.
Women like to feel safe. A man who can completely demolition his enemies is the one who makes her feel safe.
2) Take control in all interactions.
Whether it’s driving or ordering food you should be take the lead in making the decisions.
3) Approve her hatred of other females.
Women like to tear each other down. Support her hatred by agreeing with her assessments of other women. She will view you as an ally in her fight against her enemies; who more often that not are also her female friends.
4) Don’t sleep with her friends (unless her friend is hotter).
As difficult as it may be to not sleep with her friends you should struggle successfully against the urge to plow unknown, fertile fields. Women rate each other in all aspects of life and rank each accordingly. In the struggle for supremacy within their group of friends women will try to one up each other in every way. To sleep with a higher ranking friend’s boyfriend is considered a mighty blow to her superior.
If her friends are not throwing themselves at you, the reason is obvious: your girlfriend is low in the group’s ranking. You must cut all ties with her and burn any of her belongings she has left at your home. Do not respond to any of her calls. Walk away if she approaches you in public. You foolishly accepted a lowly female and this has shamed you. To be rid of the shame you should pretend it never happened and start anew.
5) Don’t talk much.
Real men only talk when there is something important to say. Mindless chatter is the realm of women. Men who enter this realm are sailing a rudderless ship under a starless night. The fool who chooses to sail into this abyss is not worthy of our sympathy. Women’s mindless chatter can not be navigated and is infested with terrible monsters. The creature known as “what do you mean by that?” will rise from the ocean depths, creep upon your ship, and slaughter your crew one by one until you are left alone, confused, disoriented and sleeping on the couch.
6) Chip away at her self esteem.
Women are truly comfortable with themselves when they are not comfortable with themselves.
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
Wrong answer: “No.”
Correct answer: “You have a few pounds you can lose.”
The first does not motivate her to keep on guard against gaining weight. The second response motivates her to be ever watchful.
7) Do not cry (except with blood).
Women do not respect men who cry. Crying is a sign of weakness and although a woman might pretend to understand your sorrow you will lose esteem in her eyes.
If you must cry, cry with blood. Like the warrior Huns who made kings and emperors tremble in fear, you must slash your cheeks with a knife and bleed tears of blood.
8) Learn to tune women out.
Many a man has gone insane from listening to women’s mindless chatter. Learn to tune them out by only allowing key words to filter through to you. This is not as difficult as it first appears. Make a list of words you feel are important: bills, car, etc. Read them to yourself a thousand times each. When she’s babbling mindlessly on and on all you’ll hear are the key words which will allow you to shift your focus away from what you’re doing or thinking, which is no doubt totally awesome and manly, to pay attention to something worth listening.
Example:
“Blah Blah Blah Blah car…” Ah, car! Now you should listen… “The car is making a weird sound. I’m a woman and I know nothing about cars. You, being the manly man that you are, know much about cars. Please help me in my time of need..” That was worth listening.
9) Take up smoking and say profound thoughts as the cigarette hangs from your lip.
There is nothing a woman likes more than a man who lets a cigarette hang off his lip except for a man who says profound thoughts while a cigarette hangs from his lip.
Example: Lean against a lamp post for hours until an attractive woman asks you what you’re doing.
Woman: “Watcha doin’?”
You: “Just lookin’ down the road?”
Woman: “What for?”
You: “Wondering where it goes…”
Woman: “It goes to the next town.”
You: “My road is rough and rugged. It's the road less traveled. The road of mystery and danger. Will I tame this road or will the road destroy me?”
Woman: "Have my baby."
10) Lift and throw large rocks.
I can not stress enough the importance of lifting a large rock and throwing it as far as possible. Women will over look all your faults the larger the rock and the further you throw it.